Momma, I see you

Before your alarm clock rings, you are awaken by the sounds of the inmates fighting with words powerful enough to rip deep into the other person, just as intended.

As you lay there wanting to close your eyes and just escape for a bit, you muster up the strength to go to battle. You lift your sand bag like legs, one by one, onto the floor and count to 3 as you stand. You fumble your way into the bathroom, triggering the family meeting alarm. As the little beings you love dearly funnel into the bathroom each with a tattle to tell about the other, your inside screams “can we not wait until I’ve had coffee!?” but the words that come out of your mouth are full of empathy {fake at times} and redirection.

Your ducks follow you in a discombobulated line as you trek to the kitchen with Mt Everest like determination, reaching the glorious coffee machine. As your sweet, saving grace, brown nectar fills your cup, the aroma calms you and says “I got you boo”. The reality is, some days coffee feels like your only ally, the only one in your corner.

Sips of fuel scattered amongst the morning routine give you more and more courage, more and more grace. The day is filled with many hugs, butt wipes, I love yous, reading the same books over and over , breaking up of fights, kissing boo-boosand preparing so.many.meals.

In the midst of cleaning, meal planning, cleaning again and all the other “mom/wife duties”, you find yourself strangely fulfilled. Knowing that the very thing that is making you feel defeated is also the very thing that fills your soul with much joy.

You work hard to get a hot meal on the table for when your partner comes home, doing all you can to pretend the day wasn’t chaos. Doing all you can to change the atmosphere into a calming and welcoming environment. As you smile and wear your hostess with the mostest, loving wife and mom hat, you single handle create a great family dinner. A dinner full of laughter and stories.

You shuffle the kids off to bed and set out to pick up that bucket of dinosaurs for the 900th time today. Followed by your 5th load of laundry and 3rd load of dishes. Battling inwardly between feeling alone and fulfilled as the memories of the day puddle back into your mind. Were you enough? Did you handle that situation correctly? Did you make all you humans, big and small, feel loved?

Motherhood can be a very isolating and thankless job. Momma, I’m here to say I see you. You are doing a great job. You aren’t alone. Your sacrifice isn’t going un-noticed. You are strong. You are kind. You are loved and you are enough. Your people would agree, they just aren’t always great at saying it. Don’t give up. Don’t loose heart. You’ll get through this. We will get through this.

**Cyber Hugs**

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