Here it is, 1 am. Only 4 hours until my alarm will rudely ring alerting me it is time to pull myself together for another 8 hour shift this holiday weekend.
Normal people would be KOed at this point… not me. Nope. I have to have issues sleeping. I blame my husband for going up north with my 3 precious babes, where there is little to no cell service, leaving me alone at home. Not only is the Ninja Turtles menu screen music not playing in the room next to mine but, there is a lack of a warm body next to me. The body that makes me feel comfortable and safe.
The only thing that is normal right now, besides me up watching Netflix at ungodly hours, is the fact that my huge dog is snoring away on the floor squeezed between the wall and my side of the bed. A place she has been since day 1.
Not only am I wide awake, it is storming hard core right now. Storms really aren’t my favorite. Here I am riding out the storm, alone.
It is moments like these that I realize how much I take my husband for granted. I forget how big of a rock he is for me. You know, the way that he puts the boys to bed every night and then checks on them one last time before he goes to bed. The way that before he headed up north, he took my sunglasses and keys out of the looser cruiser and put them in my old lady car without me asking. Or how he is wearing barely intact work boots without complaining so we could get the boys wardrobes updated for the school year and season change.
I lucked out big time!
To say that I show him appreciation, spoil him or build him up would be a lie. I’m honestly a bad wife. I’m snippy, bossy and a control freak. He deserves better. Yet, he sticks around.
We had a rough 2015. Had we both been raised where divorce wasn’t an option, I am pretty sure we would be. Not because we don’t love each other but because marriage is hard and messy. We both had to fight for our marriage, we had to pick ourselves up off the floor as tired and warn out as we were and fight. I am SO glad we did. As cliche as it sounds, we 100% wouldn’t have made it without the Lord, our faith and prayer. Especially since marriage problems are fought in secret.
The bad rain storm going on outside my window will knock some trees down, maybe some power lines. However, it will stop and we can repair everything it ruined in it’s wake. The same goes for seasons of life that are HARD. They are scary and seem like there is no way out BUT, they end and afterwards you can rebuild/repair.
I say all this to give you, to the 3 people reading my blogs, in an effort to give some encouragement to push through. Don’t give up. Anchor down and weather this storm. Trust in the Lord to fill you with grace and mercy. You are strong enough, you are good enough, you are brave enough. You’ve got this.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28
Now, I’m off to try to sleep- how many days is it acceptable to use dry shampoo in order to get an extra 30 minutes of sleep?